the big C

so I just watched the first episode of The Big C and I gotta say I feel very very cold, like my heart feels cold

okay, here goes

Well, I think we have a final diagnosis. Desmoplastic fibroma. I can't get a final decision on whether or not it is cancer as, from what I understand, it is pretty rare with less than 80 known cases. Lucky me! Trying to be upbeat but finding it harder and harder and I have only known a few days. It has been a really long road to this point though and I guess part of me is just tired from this trip as well as everything else. I pretty much started this problem in February and have had physical therapy, MRI's, CT's, PET scans and I can't even recall what else. I am so grateful to my mom and all the help and support she has given me. I really don't know what I would do without her. I have been putting off starting this blog for a few reasons, for one it makes everything seem so real but I guess it all is pretty real so I might as well try and keep track of things and keep everyone up to date. I am set to have surgery on October 6th, flowers and casseroles to follow. The tumor is located at the T-11 vertebra but they will have to take out the surrounding vertebra as well since it is highly prone to reoccur. However it is not prone to metastasize so that is a good thing.